Sean Vanderfluit

52W Mark III – Week 50: Chosen Family

As Amy noted in describing this week’s prompt for the 52 Ancestors Challenge, family isn’t just those to whom you’re genetically related. Many might add that it goes beyond just people. I know lots of people who consider their pets as part of the family. I suggest you can go beyond that, especially if you’re a child. For many children, a favourite stuffie can be as much a part of what they consider to be family as any living creature.

Our youngest definitely considers his favourite stuffy, Vivi, to be part of his adopted family. Not only that, he has created a whole “biological” family for her! Of course, he knows it’s not real and that Vivi is just a toy, but he has a very active imagination, wonderful creativity, and a lot of empathy.

Mere moments after unwrapping Vivi – she still had her tag on her!

He received Vivi from my youngest sister as a gift for his fourth birthday. The moment he tore off the wrapping paper and I caught a glimpse of Vivi, I did not think much of her. Of course, our little guy took to her and hugged Vivi right away. At that time, he had been forming strong attachments to a “favourite” stuffie that lasted only a matter of weeks. Looking at Vivi, I figured that pattern would would continue and she’d be quickly forgotten. I couldn’t have been more wrong.

Vivi has been by our son’s side since he got her. He is connected to Vivi the way Linus is connected to his blanket. Our son has created a whole world, history, and back story for Vivi. He named her very quickly after receiving her. I thought he could not have chosen a less likely name. Later, he gave Vivi a surname – “Okayer”, which is pronounced “Oaker”. Over time, he had named Vivi’s birth parents. Vivi is a “Specktogosaurus”, a species of dinosaur of our son’s own imagination. In video games, he creates characters that are named Vivi or Okayer.

Hibernating for the winter. She was in for a huge surprise when it came time to vacuum.

I was not understating it when I said our son has created a whole biological family for Vivi. Like his big brother, our son has developed an interest in genealogy. Not as passionately as me or his brother, but he is interested nevertheless. He enjoys sitting in beside me for portions of the monthly online meetings of the BC Genealogical Society. He loves to join me on trips to the BCGS library. His big project is trying to find a genealogical connection to his best friend, who he has known since pre-school. His other project has been to build a database for Vivi’s family tree.

Our boys share a home computer. One of the first things I installed when we got it was a copy of RootsMagic for our eldest. About a month or so ago, our youngest asked me if he could use it as well. Of course! I sat down with him and walked him through the basics, starting with a brand new database. I thought he was going to track our family, or the research he’s done of his friend’s family (which is pretty impressive for a nine-year-old!). Nope, he wanted to enter Vivi’s family.

Vivi’s genealogical information, with his birth parents and adoptive parent (owner).

The family group for Vivi’s biological parents. I hadn’t known Vivi was a middle child!

Last week, he asked his aunt where she bought Vivi. Could he be looking for an addition to her family? No, he just wants to know that there is a place where there were more Specktogosauruses and that Vivi hadn’t been alone. I then reminded him that we had once seen another Specktogosaurus at the Calgary Airport.

52W Mark III – Week 49: Handed Down

The prompt for this week’s 52 Ancestors Challenge is “Handed Down”. At first, I thought this would be another week where I would struggle to think of something that would even remotely fit the topic. Thanks to my niece, inspiration struck. The other night I was planning what to wear to her university convocation ceremony, which included selecting a pair of cufflinks.

When I was little, cufflinks seemed to ubiquitous and commonplace. To me, it seemed that everyone wearing a suit had a pair of cufflinks for their dress shirts. My father always wore cufflinks in his early days with Woolworths, where he always wore a suit to work. I thought they were very cool. I also liked flipping the toggle around.

As time passed and fashions changed, my father wore cufflinks less and less often. Buttons on the cuffs became the norm. My dad rarely, if ever, wore cufflinks anymore. Then, in the mid-90s, my father had a career change, which did not require him to wear a suit for work anymore.

When I began wearing dress shirts on a regular basis, they all had buttons on the cuffs. However, at some point, my mother gave me a few pairs of my dad’s old cufflinks. I can’t remember why, or what the occasion might have been that I would have worn cufflinks.

Not too long afterward, my father gave me a pair of his old cufflinks that have become my favourite and most treasured. They’re clean, classic, and simple. There’s stamp on the post indicating that they’re 10 karat gold. They’re engraved with my father’s initials and, about five minutes ago, I discovered that “1975” is engraved underneath the face. That must have been the year he received them.

I can’t exactly recall how he came to possess them, although I knew he received them at work. Having discovered “1975” engraved on them, he must have received them to commemorate the opening of the new Woolworths in North Battleford, Saskatchewan. We had moved there the year before, when dad took over as general manager of the old store in the downtown core. The new store was far larger and was an anchor tenant of the new mall in which it was located.

Big news in a small town. I wonder if my father was wearing his fancy new cufflinks when the photo of him was taken.

Ever since I received these cufflinks, I have worn them to almost every major occasion at which I’ve had to wear a suit. I wore them at weddings and funerals. I wore them at my law school graduation and my call to the bar. And, of course, I wore them at my wedding.

This week I wore them when I attempted to attend my niece’s commencement ceremony, when she graduated with her Bachelor of Education degree. Unfortunately, I got no closer than 200 meters from the ceremony and was unable to attend. Long and boring story. At least I got to join the family celebration later that evening – sans cufflinks.

Wearing the cufflinks to the event I didn’t attend.

52W Mark III – Week 48: Very Funny

This week’s 52 Ancestors Challenge prompt is not just funny, but apparently very funny!

Margaretha (“Margaret”) Heck
(1 April 1868-21 October 1946)

My mother shares a birthday – April Fools’ Day! – with her mother’s maternal grandmother, Margaretha (“Margaret”) Heck. In fact, my grandmother gave my mother Margaret as a middle name in honour of her grandmother.

My grandfather always called my mother “Maggie”, which of course is a derivative of her middle name. When I asked my mother why he preferred to do so, she said that her mother had wanted to give her Margaret as her first name, since my mother shared a birthday with her great grandmother. However, her father objected because people would call her Maggie, so my grandmother agreed to give my mother Margaret as her middle name.

^{My mother’s parents, Leo Burgess and Helen Lerner. Margaret Heck was Helen’s maternal grandmother.}

When my mother’s parents brought her home, her paternal grandfather was there and said, “there’s Maggie!” Since that time, Lorraine’s father and grandfather called her Maggie. Later, the immediate family and some of her cousins came to call her Maggie.

Of course, my mother was often teased by being called an April Fool because of her birthday. When we were kids, the tradition was that the time for pranking ends at 12 noon. My mother was adamant that she wasn’t an April Fool because she was born in the afternoon.

Once we were at my grandparents on April Fools’ Day and everyone was giving my mother grief about being an April Fool. My mother repeated her defense that she was born in the afternoon. My grandmother interjected and called out from the other room, “no you weren’t, you were born in the morning!”

Grandmothers: always siding with their grandchildren. Very funny!

52W Mark III – Week 47: Random Number

This week’s prompt for the 52 Ancestors Challenge is “Random Number”. At present, I now have 5,442 individuals in my primary RootsMagic database, which assigns each person a unique Record Number. That’s 148 more people than there were as of July 8, 2024, when the theme was “Random“. So, using the same method as last time, I generated a random number between 1 and 5,442. The result was 5,419.

There was a 0.018% chance of this coming up.

Shirley Elizabeth Baxter is #5419 in my database. Shirley is my first cousin twice removed. As with the result I obtained last time I did this, Shirley did not have a very long life. She was born October 31, 1933 in Goshen, Utah and died April 25, 1934 – not quite six months old. Thus, it bears repeating what I said in last year’s post:

One might think that this is an unfortunate result, in that there is not much to say about someone who lived such a short life. However, I was quite happy with the result. To me, it’s important to remember those who never really got to live their lives. Not only were their lives dismally short, they’re often forgotten as a result. They might not have been long in this world, but their time on Earth should be noted.

Shirley was born to John Grant Baxter and Sarah Florilla (“Rilla”) Burgess, who married on October 12, 1911 in Nephi, Utah. Rilla was my grandpa Leo Burgess‘s aunt. Shirley was the ninth of ten children and the only one not to survive infancy. Her eldest brother Evan was 22 years old when Shirley was born.

One of the main sources of information I have for Shirley comes from an item in the Salt Lake City Telegram published on April 26, 1934. In fact, the evening edition contained two separate items.

Horace Burgess, who is mentioned in both these items, is the most recent common ancestor that I share with Shirley. He was her grandfather and my great great grandfather.

The other place where I found information about Shirley was Find A Grave. Her entry includes a photo of her headstone.

Since starting this post, I thought I’d see what else I could find about Shirley. After all, one of the elements of the Genealogical Proof Standard is requires reasonably exhaustive research to have been conducted.

At FamilySearch, I found Shirley’s death certificate. Because there are contract restrictions, one cannot print or download the image. However, it corroborates what I already knew about Shirley, including her cause of death. I couldn’t read the physician’s handwriting (how stereotypical!), but I showed it to my sister who is a medical doctor. She confirmed that it says “gastroenteritis”.

Other than discovering her grave is also included at BillionGraves, I have not found anything else about her.

Everyone dies twice. Once when you take your final breath, and then again the last time someone says your name.
Attributed to everyone from the ancient Egyptians to Banksy

I say the name “Shirley Elizabeth Baxter” and she lives on.

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